A Chocolate Donut

About Me..part I

I have edited this page numerous times. I do not know how to tell you who I am. Maybe I am over analyzing?

I was born in 1965, the third of 4 children. I am the only daughter. I did not receive any special treatment for this status. I wore my brother’s hand-me-downs. My mother tried to create an air of “equality” for all her children, while my father catergorized us into the norms of family status. My older brothers were expected to help in areas of his work, I was excluded because I was “just a girl” and my younger brother was “too little”.

I have 4 children in the same order as my own siblings and I were, 3 sons and 1 daughter.  My mother had my brothers and I in a matter of 4 years…I had my children in a span of 17 years. My first born son was killed in 1995, 10 and a half years after his birth.  It is hard to answer the question, “How many children do you have?” because I “had” 4. Do I really want to always explain “I had 4 children, 3 are still with me <insert short impersonal story here>”?  I don’t want to make the other feel uncomfortable..most people don’t know what to say. I don’t want to pretend he never exsisted. Since my (now) oldest is an adult, I think I am clever by saying, “I have two at home.”

I am a stay-home mom. I think I am lucky that I do not have to worry about getting the kids up early and taking them to a sitter. I did that with my first two children and I know how difficult it is. I did it because I had to, and because I enjoyed it.  I was lucky to have had a job liked, it made it easier to get up early and get ready for work, then wake the kids and get them ready for the day.  Now that I am home during the day, it seems as if I cannot get anything done. I have thought about this and came to this conclusion: While I was working, no one was home. No dishes were dirtied, no juice was spilled, no toilets were clogged. Now that we are home, life happens. A day in the home is more “busy work” than anything else.  That is, if I let it be.

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2 Comments »

  1. I was also diagnosed w/fm – I was training for mini marathon and had to stop. Love running and have started back up again but not as aggressively. Recently ran a 5K and I feel like I have growing pains on my legs – they hurt so much especially at night I can’t sleep. Is this the FM or something else? I don’t have FM as bad as you. wish you luck – please respond.

    NER

    Comment by N rodaniche — November 11, 2007 @ 7:46 am

  2. Congratulations on your 5K! I am jealous…I am not up to running, yet, but my walks are about to become a jog! The meds I take are really helping to relieve my FMS symptoms so I hope to be back in the game soon!

    I like how you describe leg pain..I never could find the right words, just “it is a pain that feels really deep, like in my bones…” and I would get those “what are you talking about?” looks. Before I was diagnosed with FMS I had Restless Leg Syndrom (a creepy feeling in your legs that makes you move around to relieve it) I think it interrupted my sleep enough that I finally got FMS symptoms.

    Good luck with your running! I hope you can keep it up!

    Comment by Wizus — November 11, 2007 @ 10:20 pm


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