A Chocolate Donut

January 8, 2008

The Name Game

Filed under: children, family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 1:10 pm

My daughter has decided she does not like her first name.  Maybe its a phase and she will get over it, but she is very determined to have everyone call her by her middle name.   Her dad is not happy but I don’t mind as much as he does.  You see, her middle name is what I wanted her first name to be.  I had it picked out years before but Hubby never vetoed it until the day the ultrasound confirmed that, yes indeed, there was a girl on the way.   It took months for us to agree on a first name and then more time to agree on the spelling…Kayleigh.  When she first began to talk she called herself KK and here at home the nickname has stuck, but everyone else calls her Kayleigh…until now. Now she is Brynn.

With the new year came new classes with new teachers and coaches and this has given her the perfect opportunity to tell them all her new name.  I did not realize this was her plan until after cheer practice when her coach told me KK asked her to call her Brynn from now on.  Later I overheard her telling her new swimming coach, “My name is Brynn.”  

When we came home last night I had voice mail from her 3rd grade teacher, “Kayleigh wants to be called Brynn…”. She wants to know if it is alright with us. 

This morning I received a call from the gym where she takes gymnastics, they wanted to know if I had two daughters in the class. KK had told her new coach her name is Brynn instead of saying, “I am Kayleigh, but please call me Brynn”. So the coach added her name to the roster. I told the gym to just have her full name on the roster so there would be no more confusion.

She has scouts tonight and I know that some of her friends there have already begun to call her Brynn.  The leaders haven’t said anything to me but this is their first official meeting of the year so I am bracing myself.

Honestly, I don’t know what to think.  I use a nickname, Hubby uses a nickname, all the kids have nicknames…don’t most people shorten their name or have another name that “sticks”?  Its not like she is picking a name from her favorite TV show or movie.  KK knows other people that use a different name other than their legal first name and she has presented a good argument for her case.  I don’t know if there is more to her name change other than she really likes one over the other, she denies there are any other motives.  While I am concerned about her “declaration” of her new name and that she changed it without a formal approval from Mom and Dad, I also wonder, can an 8 year old have an identity crisis?  Is she trying to hurt her dad or get approval from me?  Is there something deeper to this or am I just trying to read too much into it?  

Once again, my daughter has managed to baffle me.


November 23, 2007

Dear clothing manufacturers,

Filed under: children, family, life, parenting, rant — Wizus @ 5:52 pm

My 8 year old daughter is not a miniature teen and I don’t want to dress her as one.  I don’t even think I want her to  dress like a teen when she becomes a teen! She is not trying to impress the boys in her class.  She likes to look cute, but not in *that* way.  She wants pretty clothes that are durable enough for the playground.  She would like an outfit that is stylish yet allows for spontaneous cartwheels.   Low-rise jeans do not fit this bill.

I was a 3rd grader in 1973.  My teenage cousins wore hip-hugging bell bottom jeans which I would have loved to have worn if they were available in my size.  (Lucky for Mom they were not.  She did not have to have deal with the frustration of looking for age appropriate clothing and Lordy! What would she have said if she knew my cousins wore no underwear under those skin-tight pants?!)  When I got dressed in the morning I did not worry that my panties would be higher on my hips than the waist line of my Toughskin jeans.  No one would see that I was wearing “Tuesday” underwear on Friday.  When I sat on the floor in class, my pants did not slide down my hips to expose my entire backside. 

I would like to take my daughter shopping and have it be a pleasant experience.  I would like to outfit her in modest and stylish attire.   She is at the age where I cannot fool her with the higher waisted boy’s jeans any longer.   She would like to try on clothes and hear me tell her she looks great.  Is this too much to ask?


Frustrated Mom

October 29, 2007

AZ State U wins again!

Filed under: Arizona, family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 3:41 pm

Congratulations to our ASU Sun Devils…they are undefeated this season!

Here is a look at our family’s annual trek to ASU’s homecoming block party and game:


KK loves going to “Sparky’s school”!  Only 10 years until she will be a student there!


Kenny playing in a police car that was on display.

Pictured below, the kids in the student section rushed the field and somewhere in that mess is Ricky…he says he’s the one wearing the gold shirt  😛


And once again, I am the one that takes all the pictures so there are none of me  😦 

October 24, 2007

Hey 19…

Filed under: children, death, family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 1:07 am

He is lost and wanders aimlessly through life. 

He stays up all night and sleeps all day.  He will leave home for days at a time.

I don’t know what to do to for him.  He needs help but I cannot force him to get it.

He was only 7 when he followed his step-brother into his dad’s bedroom.  He watched Daniel pick up the air rifle and fill it with BB’s.  He counted the pumps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…

He walked behind him as they went down the hall to the living room.   He saw him raise the gun and pull the trigger.

Then he watched his big brother fall to the floor.  

What did he hear?  I don’t know.  I could not listen to the 911 tape.  What would it be…crying? screaming? silence in the background?   I know he was scared.  He was alone in his dad’s house with his dying brother and the teenager that was supposed to be taking care him.

I ran into the emergency room.  I was escorted to a little sitting room and there they all were with their heads hung low…his dad, his stepmom, his stepsister, Daniel and my little Ricky.  No one looked up. “Where is Kyle?” I asked…nobody answered but I already knew. I had sensed it.  I felt him leave. 

…We had been shopping for Christmas gifts when we stopped to get a bite to eat.   We were discussing where to put the new freezer we had to buy when it happened.  Hubby says he saw it in my face as I abruptly stopped what I was saying and began talking about Kyle.  I knew it was him as he traveled right through me, it felt like a wind blowing through my chest and my mind filled with thoughts of him.  I felt restless and I told Hubby we needed to go home, now!  I knew there would be a message waiting for me and I dreaded having to push the PLAY button: “Come to the hospital immediately.  There has been an accident…” …

I had to say it again, “Where is Kyle?” and my baby boy is the only one to looked up at me to say, “He’s dead.” 

A single BB had torn through his shirt and entered his chest and punctured the pulmonary artery. The pericardial sack slowly filled with blood until his heart could no longer beat.  

I took Ricky home with me and held him all night.  I have held him many nights through the years.  He was 16 the last time I held him, I mean, really held him while he cried.  He was in so much pain my heart still aches from the memory, “I feel so lost right now and need my big brother“, is what he confessed to me.  

All summer long he watched Grandpa slowly die. I thought he was doing OK but it has brought back the horrible feelings of grief.  He didn’t tell me at the time but he had stopped going to work and he neglected to register for fall classes. 

I want to hold him now and tell him everything is going to be alright, but Mommy’s kisses cannot fix this.  

September 26, 2007

What the…?!?

Filed under: children, family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 10:52 am

I truly love my daughter more than words can describe.  She is my pride and joy and after two sons I was thrilled at the thought of all things pink.  What I wasn’t prepared for was how different she would be from me, I don’t understand her at all.  

Now, I think I have a good sense of humor, but what in the world would possess my sweet little princess into doing something like this to her little brother?

Look who is a big boy now! (not for the squeamish)

Filed under: family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 10:33 am

Kenny had just put his toothbrush in his mouth when blood began pouring out over his chin.  I saw it in the reflection of the mirror so I turned to look at him,  his eyes were wide and he just stood there with his mouth hanging open and the blood pooling in his lower jaw.

“Spit!” I told him.   He leaned over the sink and spit out the blood and froze there watching it drip, drip, drip, into the sink.   

“What happened?” I asked.  “I lost my tooth!” he said with a big grin.  I looked in the sink and sure enough, there was a little pearly white tooth mixed in that sea of red flowing towards…..the drain! 

I fished it out of the sink and I have to say, Wow! That little tooth had the longest root left on it that I have ever seen on a baby tooth!  He has knocked his teeth loose a couple of times so I am going to guess that is why it came out like that.   Look at the size of the hole it left!

Isn’t that the most proudest big-boy smile you have ever seen?!  I resized the picture so it is not too big for this post, but if you look carefully you can see that his top tooth is a shade of gray…that one was knocked loose by a sidewalk in California about 18 months ago but it has held up pretty well.   His 2 top teeth and the 3 left on the bottom are just a tiny bit wiggly now.   He was very happy with the dollar the Tooth Fairy left for him (yes people..I did an informal poll of the moms in my area and the going rate is $1,  do not give your child more so as to make my kids feel gypped  )  so he cannot wait to lose those teeth, he has some big plans on how he will spend his money! 

August 27, 2007

Movies don’t make me cry.

Filed under: family, life, movies, parenting — Wizus @ 2:05 pm

As a rule, I do not cry at movies.  Movie characters usually do not make me feel the overwhelming sadness that elicit tears. 

Not to sound heartless, but I had a hard time repressing the giggles when I heard the sniffling going on in the theater when Rose let go of Jack.   Its not that I didn’t find the movie ending sad and I did think that scene was heartbreaking, but it is a movie.  There are other movies I have heard some crying going on…The Bridges of Madison County is one…yeah, go figure!

It doesn’t matter if you are a grown up or a baby…if you cry out loud during a movie you are ruining it for the rest of us!  (please note..I am not complaining about sniffling but actual boohooing) 

Okay, now I have to confess, there is one movie that makes me cry…and it makes my eyes well up every single time I watch it.  Now, don’t laugh, but the movie is….

Hope Floats

It was in the theater in 1998.  The first time I saw it, I was doing fine up until the time Birdie’s (Sandra Bullock) mom died.  There is a scene when she gets a dress belonging to her mother, hugs the dress and holds it to her face…this is where my tears begin.

in 1995, I buried my 10 year old son.  Nothing was so hard as to go into his room and pick out his burial clothes…it would be the very last thing I would do for him. I dumped out the laundry basket, I went through his drawers and I took all the things hanging in his closet.  I put them all on his bed, I laid down and I held them in my arms.  I could smell the dirt he brought in from the park.  I could see the faint Koolaid stains that would never come clean.  I could close my eyes and feel his arms around my neck, I could hear him asking me to stay with him, ” just until I fall asleep, Mom.”. 

And that is why I don’t cry at movies.  

August 24, 2007

The “tween”

Filed under: family, life, parenting — Wizus @ 7:49 pm

It has become painfully clear to me that I am now the mother of a tween. The other day KK and I were watching TV together when an ad came on that started like this: “You no longer need to use a man’s razor…”

KK turned to me and asked, “Do you use Daddy’s razor?”

“No, I don’t” I replied, “I have my own razor” 

As the commercial continued to show a woman shaving her legs, my 8 year old asked, “Can I use your razor to shave my legs?”

“When you turn 13,  I will give you your own razor.”

“Thirteen? I have to live with these hairy legs until I am 13? Everyone will laugh at me!” 

<insert long drawn-out drama here>

In reality, I am sure she will shave her legs sooner than 13.  I don’t know if she will ask permission or just do it on the sly, but I think 13 is a good starting point for negotiations.   I know it is fun to feel grown up and to begin doing grown-up stuff, like shaving, but I hope to hold her off for a while.  My first born son was always anxious to try the grown up things too. I have a wonderful photo of him showing off where he cut his chin while shaving for the first time…he was only 9 at the time but he was so proud of himself!

When I took her in for her 8 year check up with her pediatrician, I got the “talk” from the doctor, “Now that KK is 8, you need to watch for signs of puberty and to be prepared to answer any questions she may have for you.”   Yikes!  I don’t want to hear this!  It is exciting to see her grow and change but it would be so nice to slow down the clock.

Ready or not, World, here she comes!  

August 18, 2007

Bratz (and Barbie too!)

Filed under: family, life, movies, parenting, rant — Wizus @ 8:07 pm

Today I took KK and 3 of her bffs to see Bratz, a movie that has been panned by critics in every newspaper and TV station I have seen. Yahoo! critics give it a combined rating of D-.  With so much negativity I planned accordingly and brought along my PSP just in case I needed to entertain myself.  Normally I don’t agree with the critics, I love movies they hate and I hate movies they love, but with the Yahoo! User Reviews giving it a D rating, I was dreading it.

I am happy to say I was pleasantly surprised at the fun I had during the show.  KK has the Bratz animated movies that are out on DVD and she watches them quite often.  I don’t really enjoy the DVDs because I think they are so very corny but the stories are always cute.  This movie has the same corny storylines as I am used to from the DVDs, only live action instead of animation.   I am not sure what the critics look for when reviewing a movie, but seeing how this movie was made for the girls that love Bratz I think it delivered exactly what was promised.

The Bratz are very strange looking, but they really aren’t any worse than Barbie.   I was very much against Bratz when I first saw them and I swore my daughter would never play with those slutty looking dolls, but somewhere down the line I had a change of heart.  I don’t even remember what it was that changed my mind.  What I do like about them is that they are teenagers and not an adult like Barbie. They like to shop and hang out and they have homework and babysitting jobs, Barbie does adult things like go to work, get married and have babies.  Barbie wears just as much make-up as Bratz do, and you can complain about what they wear but Barbie has some questionable clothing choices too. 

I will add that I never wanted KK to play with Barbie either, at least not until she was 5 or so,  but she has cousins that had hundreds of Barbie dolls, paraphernalia and accessories.   Slowly the dolls would show up at our home and she loved to play with them. I would return them to their rightful owner but then she ended up getting a few dolls as gifts from the Grandma I specifically told not give her any Barbies (I put those up, KK was only 2 at the time!). Then the Barbie Princess craze came around complete with DVD movies and it was a natural progression from her love of the Disney princess to the Barbie.  I finally just gave up when Hubby let her pick out the Swan Lake Barbie while they were out shopping at Target.  😛

In conclusion, KK’s Bratz and Barbies do play very nice together so I guess my worries were for naught.   😉

August 14, 2007

Missing: One 5 year old boy

Filed under: family, life, parenting, school — Wizus @ 10:18 am

I had a bit of heart failure yesterday afternoon.   I went out to meet the school bus a little early, just in case the bus was running ahead of schedule.  There are only 5 stops on the route so this is a possibility, even for the first day of school.  

I stood under the neighbor’s willow tree in an attempt to escape the sun in our 112 degree heat and my neighbor joined me as we anxiously waited to greet our new kindergarteners.   This was her first child to go to school, and Kenny is my last, but we were both just as excited to see our little ones again and readied our cameras to capture their first steps coming home from their new adventure.

The bus came around the corner right on schedule and stopped about 20 feet past the usual stop.  The big kids managed to get off first and KK came running up to me in a panic, “Kenny isn’t on the bus!  He got off at another stop!”  She didn’t see him get off, one of the other kids told her after they pulled away. I saw the driver poke his head out the door, then go back inside.  I thought he was waiting for me to tell me what happened but he closed the door and had just put the bus into drive as I got to the front of the bus.  I pounded on the door, “Where is Kenny?!?!” 

The driver opened up the door and seemed to have no clue to what I was asking. I became irate with what appeared to be a lack of concern as he patiently listened to my inquiry. The other kids on the bus knew who I was talking about and made it appear that the driver already had been told that Kenny got off at the wrong place. 

The kids told me Kenny got off at the first stop, he was sitting in the front seat, the bus stopped and he got off.  The first stop is on a busy road outside of our neighborhood with a speed limit of 45mph that is never obeyed. By now I was in a panic.  The driver made an excuse about not having a roster, its the first day, he thought the kids knew where to get off…I couldn’t believe my ears. He is 5 years old! He is wearing a name tag with his bus# and drop info on it, the one the school requires every kindergartener to wear.  How could he lose my kid?!

I took KK and ran the 100 yards to our house, I was trying to decide what to do..should I keep running to the other bus stop? Should I run in the house and get my car keys? Would he be trying to walk home? Or would he just stand there and wait for me? 

The picture of my baby standing all alone on a busy road a mile from home was flashing in my head when I saw a pickup truck slowly coming down my street.  I waved at the truck, I was hoping it was someone looking for house numbers…“please have Kenny!” I thought to myself.

As the truck came closer I could only see one person in the cab, when the driver pulled over I looked in and there he was!  I could just see the top of his blonde little head peeking out from the window. I was so relieved I just began to bawl. I was a blubbering idiot as I opened the door and grabbed my little boy.  I must have said “Thank you” a thousand times. I never got the name of the woman that brought him home but I remember what she told me, “You live in a wonderful neighborhood, we look out for each other here.”  

I am not worried about losing Kenny again, KK has strict instructions to sit next to him this afternoon, but if he manages to get himself off at the wrong stop I know he will be OK.

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